Unreadunread Collapse Replies Expand Essay Revise

Hello, I message you before about the upcoming assignment. There will be 3 papers, two of them are revise. This is should be the easiy one, it is essay you wrote, I revised I bit and submit it. I need a final Portfolio Essay, around 1750 words. I would attach the requirement teacher’s comment/feed back below. Need it by Wednesday After noon!

Feedback : You wrote a very convincing argument regarding equality or rather lack of equality toward African Americans. You used your sources well, and used great logic in convincing your reader. Excellent job!
My suggestions are to use more of your voice and understanding of the matter instead of paraphrasing and quoting so much. Also, make sure you include all of your important points from your thesis in your conclusion. You were missing the point about financial disparity. And lastly, try and reflect your thesis in your body paragraphs.

Requirement : Revising for the Portfolio Version is not the same as editing where one works primarily on the grammar, syntax, and spelling. “Revising” means not just to edit the essay but to rewrite it by adding and deleting material to improve its structure and development.

More specific instructions repeated from earlier modules (just in case you breezed over them without retaining the information): After you’ve revised Essays 2 and 3 based on my suggestions, try to add in at least one more additional quotation from an outside source. Basically, in order to strengthen your argument, add at least one more textual example where you feel it could improve your argument. After finding your additional outside source, perform the usual routine below:

1. Find a location in your essay to add the source/s
2. Introduce author’s full name and full article name the first time you cite a source
3. Introduce each quotation/paraphrase (Cisneros argues, acknowledges, adds, admits, agrees, asserts, believes, claims, comments, confirms, contends, declares, illustrates, implies, insists, notes, observes, points out, reasons, reports, suggests, thinks, writes, “ ”). This is called a Signal Phrase (see p. 722).
4. To quote, use EXACT words from the text (don’t alter them) and place “quotation marks” around these words. Or you may paraphrase (see below)
5. To paraphrase, use a reworded, restructured translation of the original quotation (so that the idea is the same, but it looks nothing like the original quotation). Even though you have reworded someone else’s words, you must give the author credit to avoid plagiarism
6. Include MLA citation to avoid plagiarism. After each quotation/paraphrase, place the writer’s last name and page number in parentheses: “The Carpet-Baggers were greedy crooks” (Wilson 12). Note where the quotations marks end and where the period is located. If you’ve already mentioned the author’s name within the sentence introduction (the Signal Phrase), then omit it in parenthesis (12). If the source is electronic, look for a set page such as that on .pdf articles. If there is no set page on the reading (such as an HTML), you do not need to cite a page.
7. If there is no author, cite the full article name in the text or an abbreviated title name in parentheses followed by an ellipses (three dots separated by periods) w/ quotation marks around the abbreviated title. For example, “We are overworked by eight hours a day” (“Testimony. . . ” 25).
8. Perform an analysis of the textual example by examining a quotation/paraphrase’s partssuch as word choice, tone, figurative language like personification, similes, and metaphors to show how these support the topic sentence.. You can even look at such whole story elements as the title of the story, the main idea/purpose of the story, the structure of the story if these elements help improve our understanding of why you’ve included the example in your paragraph. An analysis can also include inferences (assumptions, interpretations, argumentation approaches from Ch. 14, etc.).
9. “Works Cited” page is required. This is an alphabetical listing of sources from which you quoted. It is the last page of your essay.You list it as follows: Author. Title of source. Title of container (book, magazine, etc.), Other contributors (like editors), Version, Number, Publisher, Publication date, Location (website or pages if hard copy or pdf).

• If you’re unsure how to cite a source, it’s simple. Google KnightCite. From there make sure the MLA format is highlighted and fill in the blanks. When you hit submit, just cut and paste the result you’re your Works Cited page (you could also use this site if you need to write an essay in APA or other format).
• How to Write Your Works Cited: alphabetize, double space and indent one tab the second line, and third if there is one.
• Essay written by someone other than the editors Kirszner and Mandell: Gansberg, Martin. “Thirty-Eight Who Saw Murder Didn’t Call the Police.” Patterns for College Writing: A Rhetoric Reader and Guide, Laurie G. Kirszer and Stephen Mandell, 13th, Boston (city optional), Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2015, pp. 128-131.
• Essay or introduction written by the editors Kirszner and Mandell Kirszner, Laurie G. and Stephen R. Mandell, eds. “Understanding Argumentation and Persuasion.” Patters for College Writing: A Rhetoric Reader and Guide, 13th ed., Boston, Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2015, pp. 524-525.
• For our library Databases EbscoHost and Sirs, you can actually email yourself the citation. Again, you can always cite outside sources by googling KnightCite and submitting all the relevant information.