Oxford Bibliographies Popular Writing Question

The original assignment of the essay is as follows: “This assignment is a critical race content analysis of the Oxford Bibliographies “Popular Culture” entry (https://library.ohio-state.edu/record=b7558589 … Click link, choose sociology from subject drop menu, click popular culture by Dustin Kidd). The bibliography includes a content area titled “Representation,” where sources are listed that address race and popular culture. Using Stuart Hall’s essay, “What Is the Black in Black Popular Culture?,” (https://badgirlsshortcourse.files.wordpress.com/20… ) and any other material/texts assigned for this class (this link to an electronic version of the textbook can also help https://ebookcentral-proquest-com.proxy.lib.ohio-s…), write an argument-driven essay analyzing the compartmentalization of race in the bibliography. Is there a reasonable logic for compartmentalizing? Is there any loss to how popular culture is understood if identity/representation is compartmentalized?”

I wrote a previous response to this essay which got the following response from the grader of the assignment: “First page MLA format is incorrect. Avoid stating explicitly what the essay will do. You need a concise thesis statement that makes a forceful claim. I do not see a thesis. This class is focusing on a very specific Oxford Bibliography–Popular Culture (Sociology)–as an example of compartmentalizing race. I am confused about why you are referencing other types of Oxford bibliographies. Dustin Kidd compiled the bibliography. I am not sure what “book” you are referencing, as we read no books he has authored. Use spellcheck. No secondary sources beyond those assigned in class were needed. This paper seems to be responding to a different prompt than the one assigned.”

I am really hoping that you can revise my paper (which I added as a file) using the feedback above, keeping the main argument the same but using the proper sources, etc. If there is any confusion about anything feel free to ask me as I really need to resubmit this ASAP.