25 Ptseffective Academic Body Essay Editing And R
I have written this essay already but i need help revising it.
The essay is attached and some helpful writing resources are attached as well.
Writing a Research Paper, Thesis Statements, Introductions & Conclusions, Paragraph Structure, APA,
This is the grading criteria
Purpose: To contribute information to your field of study
Total Points Possible: 200
- Effectively answers the research question with focused 1-2 answers or conclusions- 25 pts
- Effective academic intro and thesis- 25 pts
- Effective academic body paragraph structure- 50 pts
- Effective use of evidence from credible sources from the field- 50 pts
- Conclusion paragraph and use of academic-style citations- 25 pts
- Polished academic writing- 25 pts
This is the lecture for the essay
The following are the feedbacks I got on my essay.
1) Feedback #1 I
s there a clear thesis statement at the end of the introduction paragraph that identifies the topic being explored and 1-3 conclusions/answers?
– I think there is a clear thesis, however there are not any responses/solutions listed.
What is missing from the thesis, or how might it be improved?
– A specific response on what you think would happen, or what researched do if coke were to be legalized.
Does each body paragraph have a single focus on a single conclusion/answer?
– Yes, each one does.
Or are there body paragraphs that jump from 1 conclusion to another within the paragraph?
– No I think the paragraphs are well written.
Does each body paragraph provide academic evidence to support the conclusion/answer to the question/topic?
– Yes, beside the last one.
What is missing from the body paragraphs, or how might they be improved?
– More background information would be great.
Does the writer provide answers that are from academic research and stay away from providing their own personal experiences and opinions and popular social opinions on the topic?
– Yes, Every reason why coke should be legalized was backed with a statistic, not just by saying “Coke is fun” or something like that.
2) Feedback #2
Is there a clear thesis statement at the end of the introduction paragraph that identifies the topic being explored and 1-3 conclusions/answers?
– Based on the question to be answered, I would say that the thesis is clear but does not contain any conclusions or answers.
What is missing from the thesis, or how might it be improved?
– I would say to add the conclusions you speak about in your essay in some shower hand way so that it could be included in your thesis statement.
Does each body paragraph have a single focus on a single conclusion/answer? Or are there body paragraphs that jump from 1 conclusion to another within the paragraph?
– Each one of your paragraphs has a definite focus and those ideas do not jump from paragraph to paragraph.
Does each body paragraph provide academic evidence to support the conclusion/answer to the question/topic?
– Your paragraphs do contain academic evidence to support your conclusions.
What is missing from the body paragraphs,
or how might they be improved?
– I would work on connecting your paragraphs with smoother transitions. The information is there, it could move from idea to idea with lead in sentences at the end of the paragraphs.
Does the writer provide answers that are from academic research and stay away from providing their own personal experiences and opinions and popular social opinions on the topic?
From what I can read, you do stay away from personal and social opinions and stay with your academic research. Definitely less emotion than my essay. You use academic research to make your conclusions.